What's with this pose!
But he's pretty cute.
And he's about your age, Sis. That's terrific.
Urara... I have to apologize to you.
A-Actually, when I sent that letter, I put your picture inside the bottle.
What? My picture? Why?
Because you're so cute.
I thought if anyone saw your picture, they'd be sure to reply.
I'm so sorry!
Why'd you do such a thing? Why didn't you include your own photo?
I couldn't! No one would take me seriously.
The reply came all because of your picture.
Be more confident! You're pretty, Sis! And so am I.
Okay then, if I've made a new friend, I'll forgive you.
You're going to change this time, right, Sis?
Take it slow, but do your best, Sis.
["Sometimes You Must Meet To Understand"]
I didn't think this letter would reach anyone, so I'm very happy.
I'd like to get to know you better, Shinpachi.
Hey, you did it. She wants to get to know you better.
She's totally into this. So what'll you do?
Will you tell her everything?
But, Gin... The picture I sent to her...
Maybe it's not me she wants to get to know, but Okita.
If I said, "This is Shinpachi Shimura,"
wouldn't anyone looking at the photo assume that I meant Okita?
Don't worry. You're in the picture. And you look good.
But half of me is out of the frame! I'm the one being slain!
If you want to be considered the lover here, then that's the perfect pose.
We didn't tell any lies. And if she misinterprets things, that's not our fault.
Anyone looking at this would misinterpret it!
But we've passed the first hurdle in getting her to reply.
So naive.
The first gate? That's way off.
You guys aren't even in front of the gate.
I don't need to hear that from someone who can't even get through the gate!
Don't say anything, Shinpachi.
I know pretty much what's been happening these past few days.
How do you know?! Okita was here looking for you!
How long have you been there?!
If it's matters of the heart, why didn't you come to me, Kondo the expert?!
You're the expert of harassment!
Besides, I've never seen a dirtier expert at love!
Right! To capture love, you get down and dirty without giving up!
Give it up! Please, I'm begging you! Give it up!
Letters, huh? Brings back memories.
I used to correspond a lot.
I'd get so nervous each time a letter came.
I can't remember how many times I went to make payments.
That wasn't correspondence! Those were bills for the crap you signed up for!
Was not! I remember it in my heart!
So you did go on an adult site?!
Shinpachi, a guy like him who's only experience in love is in the gutter
can't know anything about writing letters.
Let me, your future brother-in-law, handle it!
How dare you?!
The only experience you have in love is paid sex. So don't talk!
Well then, let me ask. What are you going to do now?
The girl has begun to take an interest in Shinpachi.
So what should he say?
For example!
I work part-time at an Odd Jobs in Edo.
I'm always poor and my hobby is chasing after pop idols.
How can you be popular with that?!
Odd Jobs is no place to work! And chasing pop idols is weird!
You should talk, when you can't even make it with women!
There's nothing wrong with Odd Jobs!
Yeah! And what's wrong with chasing pop idols?!
It's better than stalking a woman who hates you!
Well then, let me ask you. Are you popular with girls now?
No, right? Naturally!
If you write honestly about your current lifestyle,
what woman would be interested?!
Then are you suggesting we lie?!
We may have tinkered with the facts a little, but we haven't lied!
Lie? As if I'd suggest anything that's against the samurai code.
However, changing the way the sentence reads
can greatly enhance the impression it creates.
For example...
I train every day under a samurai named Gin in hopes of learning the Way of the Samurai.
My hobby is music.
It's the one thing that I don't mind opening my wallet for.
But as a result, I'm always a little short on cash.
The content is still the same as before, but the impact is vastly different.
There's more.
My dream is to revive my family's sword dojo.
My sister has been doing her best to support me and my dream.
My sister is a fine woman, beautiful, gentle,
and if I were to marry, she's the kind of woman I'd like to find.
Lately, her beauty shines even more, and even I, her younger brother, am dazzled by it.
In a word, her beauty is like a single flower.
So delicate, it's as though it would fall if touched,
but at the same time, it has a strength that makes it unbreakable.
What is even more amazing is that even with all that beauty,
she remains down-to-earth. Her spirit remains pure and she glows.
Is this a miracle?
No, it is not. It is she herself that is the miracle.
And this beauty that we behold is a petite-miracle, which was borne from the miracle that she is.
And even more amazing, my sister...
Too long!
Must you go on and on and on about my sister?
As her brother, it makes me wanna puke!
You said change the point of view, but now it's all your point of view!
Undoubtedly, even in my words, my sister's existence is essential.
But you have to make it more concise, or it loses its purpose!
I see. Oh well. I'll swallow my tears and cut it down to one sentence.
She turns me on.
What kind of kid brother is that?!
Like I said, it's all your feelings! By the way, is that all you feel?!
Please don't tell your sister.
As if I could!
Say, let's just cut your sister out of this already.
Having an older sister has absolutely no merits.
Ultimately, she could be the sister-in-law.
Let's eliminate all negative keywords. Just write about what works.
Under the guidance of a samurai named Gin,
I get turned on every day and night.
Get rid of "turned on"!
The most negative keyword is still being used!
What's this "turned on every day and night"?!
It sounds like I'm like that all year long!
I get turned on during the weekends.
"Weekends" is fine, but delete "turned on"!
Enough already! Use the first half, and forget the rest!
Forget...
You... Urara ...
What is your life like?
Miss, the ocean air is not good for you.
It's all right. Please leave it open.
So you have an older sister too, Shinpachi.
I have one older sister. But unlike yours, my sister is very weak.
She has been sickly since she was a child
and spent most of her time indoors, always alone.
So, she's very shy
and even though her health is better, she's not comfortable around others.
The only ones she's able to talk to freely are myself and our butler, Chanzo Sebasu.
And on the rare days she does go outside,
she gazes out at the ocean towards far off lands.
She's unable to cast off the shell she has built around herself.
What do you think about a sister like that?
Hey, she really latched onto the topic of an older sister. More than we expected.
She didn't write a thing about herself.
Didn't I tell you? To leave out writing about your sister?
What's the use of exchanging notes about your sisters?!
Get the subject back to yourself!
But you can't just change the subject.
This is her dear older sister.
You have to do a follow-up, then gently change the subject.
So how would I follow up?
Oh, so you're here, after all.
Kondo, get your act together, will you?
You slack off from work and go roaming around.
Can you put yourself in my place trying to follow-up for you?
Perfect timing! Toshiro Hijikata, the follow-up man!
He handles all the problem kids and follows up with them every day.
With Toshi, there's nothing he can't follow-up!
What are you talking about?
Read this, Toshi-follow!
Cut the Toshi-follow! It's Toshiro! And why should I?
Please read it, Follow-kata!
Get your names straight! Nothing makes sense!
Hey Four-eyes, what do you see in this woman?
I'm telling you, she's a Type bleep.
Type bleep?
Type bleep women are willful and never listen to others.
[We are not allowed to broadcast contents that may encourage prejudice and stereotypes against different blood types.]
She talks only about herself and monopolizes the conversation, then thinks it's going well.
If you don't do the proper follow-up, she'll talk on and on forever.
And yet, she won't listen even if you force another subject on her.
This really needs to be handled properly.
So what? You got something against Type bleep women?
No!
Toshi, are you still stuck on that?
Never mind that!
It's different with someone who's popular with women.
You give good advice, bleep-kata!
Stop calling me by all those different names!
Type Peep will find that you can't get much done today, but hang in there.
Type piip might get caught in a sudden shower.
Don't forget your umbrellas when you go out.
That's just fortune-telling! Besides, why would it only rain on Type piip?!
In any case, what we need is a miraculous follow-up that has a finality,
then we naturally switch subjects, being careful not to hurt her.
That's a cinch. Just leave it to me.
It pains my heart to think about your sister.
But I'm sure your sister understands your concerns.
I know that one day, her heart will open up.
Speaking of opening up, when will you open up your legs for me, Urara?
That's not natural!
What kind of subject are you trying to introduce?!
Even a caveman knows how to be more delicate!
In love, we all return to our primeval selves.
You can return by yourself. And never come back!
This is ridiculous! There's no follow-up!
It's so flimsy! You're not thinking seriously about the sister here.
When I think about your sister...
I get turned on.
There's no distinction with that!
That's not a follow-up. You're only thinking about my sister!
Even an amoeba can do better than that!
Everyone gets gooey in love.
It's the inside of your head that's gooey!
Hijikata ...
Oh well, I have no choice.
You seem to be very concerned about your sister.
But I don't think you need to be.
I can't feel sorry for your sister, nor do I have words of encouragement for her.
After all, she does have a friend.
Me.
I will be your sister's friend.
If she's unable to break out of her shell, then I will come to break it for her.
We say we'll release her, then we do an ultra-dreadnought of a follow-up!
And with that follow-up, we nonchalantly arrange to meet!
Please let me meet your sister.
Oh, please forgive me for bringing it up so suddenly.
I've said some noble things. But actually, I'm not such a great guy.
After all, I...I just...I just...
want to meet you.
There's the follow-up! We followed up with Urara at the end!
It's not the end. We erase this part. And now it's the end!
You erased it?! The line about wanting to meet her?! Why?!
I-Is it because a youth like Shinpachi would be too shy to ask to meet her?
So! It's a put-on that after he writes it, he realizes he's too shy, then erases it.
You even followed up with Shinpachi!
It's perfect!
It's done! So this is known as...
the Follow-kata Toshi-follow!
Send it immediately.
Yes! Thank you!
Hey, guys,
I'm not gonna thank you.
No problem.
Every man goes down this path.
Oops...
I forgot to erase the line Kondo wrote.
[When I think about your sister, I get turned on.]
How creepy! This guy gets turned on?!
Sis, forget this. No more corresponding!
Sister?
Say, what's the matter?
It's strange.
Every time he writes, the letters seem like they're from a different person.
As though he's someone with multiple personalities.
I've never had a friend, and all at once,
I feel like I have many friends.
What are you saying, Sis?
He's just a weirdo.
And, I've been writing as if I was you.
Yet he says he wants to help me.
That he gets turned on.
Sister! Do you even know what that means? Getting turned on means...
...want to meet him.
I...
I want to try meeting him.
Gin-san! Hey, take a look at this letter!
This is bad. I want nothing to do with it. Nothing.
Me neither! It's Toshi. It's all Toshi's fault!
You're the one who started this, Kondo. It's not my problem!
I did it! I finally did it!
Urara wants to meet me!
I'm so happy that you're concerned about my sister as though she's your own sister.
I would love for you and my sister to meet.
I'll be going to Edo with her, so let's definitely meet.
Wow, I never imagined I'd get to meet her so soon.
I guess it's really worth trying.
Thank you so much everyone.
One should always have a senpai who can teach you about life. Really.
Hey, what's it mean?
She received a letter like that and she wants to meet up.
Does it mean? No way!
She's turned on, too?!
Absolutely not!
Kondo! What're you doing?!
No way! 16 years old and turned on?!
I will not allow it. As a brother!
You're not my brother! Besides, you're the one who's turned on the most!
When you're over 20. Get turned on all you want!
Say, but you were horny even before you turned 20.
I will not allow it!
What'll we do about this?
Sister! You can't! Not after we came all this way!
Urara, stop! I really don't want to. Really!
What are you saying?! You're the one who said you want to meet him!
I'll be satisfied if I can just get a glimpse of Shinpachi's face.
I'll watch from the shadows, so you go, Urara!
That's just pointless! Why did you begin corresponding in the first place, Sis?!
In order to change yourself, right? To make friends, right?
B-But he thinks you're his writing partner.
If I go, he'll only be disappointed.
There you go again, running away!
You're just scared of getting involved with people. Of being hurt!
And if you don't change that about you, you'll always be alone!
You'll be fine. Have confidence, Sis.
You're very pretty.
And why wouldn't you be?
After all, you're my sister.
So don't try to put on airs and be something you're not.
Just be natural.
You're wonderful just the way you are.
Natural.
Yes. You get nervous because you try to be someone you're not.
Just be yourself, do what you feel, be true to who you are. Just act natural.
Do what I feel?
Like leaving!
Sis!
Darn it! For Sis, leaving is what comes naturally!
Wait, Sis!
Excuse me. Are you Urara?
Hello, I'm Shinpachi Shimura.
Hey, why...
Why's Okita on a date with her in my place?!
Now, now, calm down, Pachi.
He'll pull it off nicely.
He doesn't have to pull it off!
I finally got a date! How come a stranger gets to enjoy the best part?!
He's no stranger. He's Shinpachi.
Remember. To her, he's Shinpachi. Did you forget?
That's because you sent that complicated photo!
But it's also because of this photo that she wrote back.
S-Still, I've written diligently to her. So what was the purpose of it all?
Who says it's going to continue like this?
Huh?! Then I'm going to go out there and confess!
I'm supposed to go out in this situation and tell her,
"Actually, I'm the one who wrote the letters"!
Calm down. If you go out there now, you'll just lose to Okita.
There's nothing to be gained from that.
The difference between you two is like the difference between the moon and turtle crap.
Just turtle will do.
Or like Ken and the crap from his crap.
[Note: Refers to movie star Ken Takakura who often plays the role of handsome, strong, honorable hero. Visuals refer to "Poppoya," a film about a lonely rail master.]
How about just crap? No, never mind.
In other words, even if you reveal yourself,
it has to be done under the right circumstances or it won't work at all.
Look, if Ken's crap was on the railway track,
even it could pass for Poppoya, the rail master.
Not! Don't be so rude!
You want to look clumsy.
I'd say I'm pretty deft. Crapping on the tracks between trains passing.
Anyway, Okita's gonna play a bad role here.
He's your arch-rival.
And one day, he discovers that you're going to correspond with a pretty girl.
He decides to take her away from you and crumples up that first letter you wrote
Oh no!
and sends his own photo instead.
Later, he bides his time until you and Urara have formed a bond and promise to meet.
And he waits for that moment!
However, who should appear but Poppoya!
Isn't that a bit too cliché? Are you sure it'll work?
It's actually worse over here than a novel.
O-Okita?
I think that'll be simple enough. I'm not good at remembering difficult things.
Are you sure, Okita? You don't mind doing this?
Well, I owe Gin.
On top of which, Kondo just issued a new set of rules for us.
Article 46, Hate Odd Jobs.
However, be kind only to Shinpachi. Otherwise, it's harakiri.
That sounds awful. He's really getting ambitious.
Oh yeah, there's a bit of a problem.
Seems the girl came to Edo with her sister,
but that sister's gone missing. And she's pretty nervous.
Sister? The one mentioned in the letter?
What do you want me to do? There's no way I can seduce the girl.
Sis? It's easier to woo a woman when there's no sibling around.
It's your chance. Just tell her you called the police or whatever and go on a date.
Say, but I am the police.
You take a woman when she's worried, drunk or on her graduation.
That's the usual. Right, Shinpachi?
Excuse me.
Sh-Shinpachi? Did you just say Shinpachi?
[To be continued]
The next episode...
"Sometimes You Can't Tell Just By Meeting Someone."
[Finally these two meet: Shinpachi and the sister.]
[Coming up next time, the end of the correspondence episode. Please watch without getting turned on.]
[See you next time.]